Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am writing to provide you with a brief introduction of myself. I am currently studying at the Singapore Institution of Technology as a Year 1 Mechanical Engineering student. My journey here follows my graduation from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in biomedical engineering in 2023. Preceding my entry to SIT, I completed an introductory university Mathematics course spanning from March to April 2023.
From a young age, I have harbored a fascination for the inner workings of mechanical and electronic devices. around us work. I observe individuals engrossed in their mobile phones, earbuds, laptops, and other devices. Over the years, I have observed how technology has transformed our way of life. This evolution ignited my determination to unravel the mechanics behind our everyday tools, employing the realms of technology, science, and mathematics to enhance the quality of our lives. This brings me to the field of engineering.
A cornerstone of my character lies in being an active listener. Whether conversing with close friends, acquaintances, or peers, I approach each interaction with undivided attention, allowing their words to take precedence without interruption. Whenever someone confides in me, whether in moments of elation or adversity, I strive to be a receptive ear, fostering an environment that encourages constructive feedback to flourish. This commitment to sincere communication stems from my belief in the transformative power of authenticity. Growing up, I felt that sincerity in communication helps to establish trust and foster deeper connections between individuals.
In acknowledging areas for growth, I have come to recognise my tendency toward soft-spokenness. Particularly, in larger group settings, I often find myself withholding my voice unless prompted. This weakness of mine can sometimes inadvertently project an impression of reserve. It is a trait that I am still actively working to refine, seeking to exude confidence in communication, especially in a bigger crowd.
Through this module, my aspiration is to become a better speaker. Firstly, I hope to cultivate a newfound confidence that will empower me to communicate effectively, regardless of the size of the audience. Additionally, I endeavor to deepen my appreciation for the art of communication,
Lastly, I want to end this letter with an emphasis on the significance of diligence in my approach to learning. Regardless of the challenges that are ahead of me, my unwavering commitment to hard work remains steadfast. I firmly believe that perseverance yields its rewards in due time and sets me apart in my pursuit of excellence.
Yours sincerely,
Zhou Min
SIT, Freshman
Hey Zhou Min,
ReplyDeleteGreat write up for your letter! I really appreciate how well organized and easy it is to readand digest the contents in your letter. It was concise, detailed and straight to the point. I also liked the part where you mentioned your weakness is being soft-spoken and you rebutted it by saying its your strength as well by stating "able to speak up when needed".
As nothing is perfect in the world, some things you can improve is firstly, on the part about being soft-spoken, I feel you could have shared with us on how are you planning to improve on it. Plus, in your introduction, it would be better if you mention what are your hobbies or other interests not relating to the engineering field.
overall, i really fancied how you ended off with your life goal. it gives of an enthusiastic vibe which ends the letter in a positive note. All the best in achieving your goal and see you around in class. ✌
Hi Le Wei, thank you for the encouragement; very motivated by it, really appreciate it! Nice and constructive feedback from you, i have made relevant changes to it, feel free to share with me your ideas! Look forward to your reply :)
DeleteDear Min,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this detailed sharing on what makes you the person you are and why you are enrolled in ME at SIT. I appreciate hearing your 'voice' in this letter because, as you have written, you do seem a bit reticent in class. Thank you for openly revealing so much about your comm skills, your experience and your goals for the module.
In terms of language use, this is a fluent post, but there are a few areas that could be improved (in the spirit of constructive criticism):
1. overuse of caps
-- I am currently studying in Singapore Institution of Technology as a Year 1 Mechanical Engineering student. > I am currently studying in Singapore Institute of Technology as a Year 1 mechanical engineering student.
2. sentence structure
-- After which, I took up an introductory to university Mathematics course over the period of March 2023 to April 2023, before entering SIT in August 2023. > (The phrase "áfter which" connects this info to another sentence.)
3. verb use
-- As a child, I am always fascinated with how mechanical and electronic devices around us work. Be it on the way to school, to a friend's house, etc, I see everyone using their mobile phones, earbuds, laptops, just to name a few. As the years goes by, I saw...
> (verb tense inconcistency: Which verbs require past and which present?) ?
Do let me know if you have any questions.
I look forward to learning more about you this term and hearing more of your ideas.
Best wishes,
Brad
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Prof Brad, i think there was something wrong with my settings previously, i had troubles commenting and seeing comment but the problem has been resolved. :)
DeleteOh good. But were you able to see my comments? I left quite a few. :)
DeleteUnfortunately i can't, i can only see the above comment.
DeleteI think all is well now. I see the comments left on 17 September, above.
DeleteHi Maybeleine, thank you for taking the time to read and providing me with the constructive feedback. I have worked on what you mentioned above ^^ look forward to your reply!
ReplyDelete